Building meaningful relationships
Our new chapter in Leading self class at UWC ISAK Japan is to foster meaningful relationships - both in our community and in our life when we grow up. More often that not, sometimes we are unaware that we are using violent languages against other people, or we are imposing our ideas on someone, or we are guessing at their thoughts and trying to give them advice when they just need someone to listen to them. This chapter of leading self class has 3 main objectives to change these habits:
This is especially important in the UWC environment because people might have different backgrounds that we are unaware of that make them have these thoughts and behaviors. This is clearly explained by the idea of the Cultural iceberg - which divides cultures that are visible like festivals, languages, traditional clothes and those that are invisible to our eyes but play the major role in shaping a person, like history, socioeconomic background and religion.
There are a few ways in which this can be carried out:
1. Listen for the person's needs:
Always have an open ear to listen during a conversation. Do not attempt to judge or give advice unless you are specifically asked to do so. You can guess at a person's needs by digging deeper into what they are saying by using these phrases:
- I am guessing your need is that...
- I suppose that what you need right now is....
Or if you simply cannot guess at their needs, simply ask them from their opinion.
2. Do not use violent language when conflicts and disagreements arise
You should demonstrate your feelings and point of view in a conflict without using accusing words and violent languages
3. Listen for common needs and connect them:
Sometimes during a conflict, you have the same needs with the other person but you guys just have different ways of approaching it. To resolve a conflict, you might want to connect both of your needs together to find the best way to solve it.
4. Always remind yourself that you initiate the conversation to understand each other.